I have the solution to the Santa dilemma for Christian families.
For believers, Christmas is when we recognize the profound significance of Jesus’ birth, which contrasts sharply with our culture’s commercialism of Christmas. Christian parents have the responsibility to model and teach children the real reason for the season.
Could it be that in our pursuit to keep the holidays fun and magical, we unintentionally make Santa more desirable than Jesus? When we encourage our children to believe in a fantasy that is all about someone making us happy and giving us what we want, we dethrone the One who desires to make us holy and gives up what we need, instead of what we think we want. Christmas can still be filled with wonder while keeping Jesus the reason for the season. How?
Pretend in Santa. Believe in Jesus. It’s just that simple.
To do this, I believe it’s crucial for our children to be able to differentiate between the historical truths of Santa and the fantasies that surround him. We can share with children the endearing stories of the real Saint Nickolas and why we pretend today that he delivers toys to children everywhere. We don’t have to let go of Truth in order to join in on the fun activities of the holidays.
Families can engage in the traditions surrounding Santa Claus if they choose to do so, provided it is communicated clearly that this is part of a fictional narrative rather than reality. For example, if you want to leave cookies out for Santa, we might say, “let’s leave the chocolate chip cookies out because we know how much Daddy- uh, Santa Clause– likes them,” and then share a knowing wink. In simple ways we can invite our children to play along with us while answering their questions honestly as they happen. If the 4 year old directly asks you if Santa is real, our answer should be clear: “We pretend he’s real. Isn’t it fun to make-believe that Santa is riding around on a sleigh, filling up stockings with treats for all the boys and girls? What’s your favorite thing to pretend about Santa?” This also might be a good time to talk about Christ and how He’s the most amazing gift we could ever receive.
Children love to play pretend- there really is no need to lie to them. Just a handful of conversations and some knowing smiles can convey that Santa isn’t the foundation of the holiday spirit; he’s merely a playful addition to the season.
Could it be that your children already believe in Santa, and you’re worried it’s too late to switch to pretending? I would like to encourage you that it is never to late for a parent to decide something is no longer working for their family, and then make the necessary changes. If this resonates with you, remember that there is no one better suited to parent your child than you- you can do this. And if you’d like to brainstorm ideas on how to make the switch, all you need to do is reach out to me.
Some parents worry that their child might spoil Christmas for other children by revealing Santa isn’t real. It’s important to discuss this with our children so they do know how to respond respectfully in such a situation. Teach them that families have different beliefs and traditions, and that’s perfectly fine! Teach them a simple answer and a question to keep the conversation from becoming controversial: “In our family, we pretend in Santa. What’s your favorite thing about Christmas in your home?”
This topic can be a bit tricky, and I hope you hear my heart in this message, not any judgement. I’d be happy to talk about your thoughts or questions that this article may have brought up for you,
I’ll wrap up with some simple things we can do to reflect our belief in Jesus this Christmas season:
- Read the true Christmas story of the birth of our Savoir (Matthew 1:18-25, 2:1-12; Luke 1:26-38, 2:1-20).
- Follow an Advent calendar, like this one, to anticipate and celebrate the arrival of Jesus on the first Christmas.
- Play and sing lots of Christmas music, carols, and hymns. Watch movies about Jesus.
- Attend Christmas services and events at your local church.
- Deck the halls with Christian decor! There is nothing wrong with secular decorations, but we ought to include elements that reflect our faith.
- Presents: Don’t buy something just to buy something. Get creative! Make some art, bake a treat, or write a heartfelt note. Don’t forget what matters is that we show we care- not the price tag on the gift!
- Pray! Pray for God to help us stay focused on Him.
Is my list missing something? Let me know below. And may God bless you and your family with peace and joy this Christmas!
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Can confirm we did some of the things you suggest here – particularly we coached the kids on how not to ruin Santa for other kids – and it turned out okay for ours and their acquaintances. Though we never did much Santa in general, I just told them the social concept of him and that some families utilize his character to celebrate. Thus, in our case, when my kids became appalled that other parents might lie to their kids about Santa potentially for many years of their early life, what I had to do was discuss with them why this isn’t done with an abusive or unloving intent. That was tricky to explain sometimes, perhaps because young minds can’t always fathom why old minds would like to revisit being young ones again.
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Thanks for sharing! I love seeing how open the lines of communication are between you and your children- and that tricky, or nuanced conversations aren’t ignored! I’m always surprised how deep conversations can get surrounding Santa.
I hope that the main takeaway from the article is that if parents want to do Santa, that they can AND they don’t have to do any lying.
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