Buy ✅ When we truly bring God’s grace to the forefront of our discipline, we implement discipline that is effective in discipleship. Correction becomes a wonderful opportunity to reinforce our efforts to help children to know, love, and follow Jesus. The overall message of Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart is certain to help parents build wisdom and character in not only their children, but in themselves, too.
Jim and Lynne Jackson walk the reader through the 4 key messages that our children need to feel in every interaction with them: you are SAFE with me, you are LOVED no matter what, you are CALLED and CAPABLE, and you are RESPONSIBLE.
The Jacksons emphasize that misbehavior is inevitable. Therefore, instead of focusing on eliminating it, we should address it with love and wisdom, striving for more than just behavior modification. When our sole concern is a quick fix, our attitudes and actions might misrepresent our true intentions or “imply to them that parents aren’t worthy of their respect.”
I was happy to see the book tackle false beliefs that many parents hold. For example, a parent says, “He knows I love him. Are you telling me Mitch should feel more loved when he’s failing math? That’ll just make him think it’s ok- and it’s not.” The reality is that God’s love remains constant in the midst of our shortcomings, drawing us closer to Him. It’s crucial the message of love gets to our children, even amidst misbehavior. It’s one thing to say I love you, it is a-whole-nother thing to show it.
The practical applications and sample dialogues offered are truly valuable. The authors even share a definition of misbehavior I have never heard before: a manifestation of our “gifts gone awry.” For instance, someone skilled in organization and details may tend towards nagging, while a spontaneous and expressive person might become irritable under pressure. I think it’s a wonderful idea for families with older children to talk about each individual’s unique strengths and how to respectfully address misuse of these strengths. This approach would help us all recognize the hidden gifts within misbehavior rather than taking it personally.
Disobedient people don’t need to be taught obedience, they need wisdom to value God’s righteous ways. Wisdom opens the door of the heart- to repentance and relationship with Christ, and then to obedience.
Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart by Jim & Lynne Jackson
My only critique of this book is the inflated value put on consequences. While consequences are an important component of any parent’s parenting tool box, it should not be what we rely on the most. In my experience, parents searching for an appropriate consequence for every misbehavior unintentionally move towards the desire to control behavior instead of supporting the child for the future and teaching them what to do next time. But the book gets 10 bonus points for saying spanking is not a biblical mandate! Can I get an Amen!?
resourcesforchristiandiscipline.com 