Giving directions in the negative form (what not to do) can even be confusing for adults, not to mention a small child with limited cognitive abilities. Instead, say what you want to see. To encourage our young children to cooperate (or “listen”), our words must clearly communicate exactly what it is we want from them.Continue reading “Stop Telling Children What Not to Do.”
Category Archives: Articles
Forced Obedience in Childhood Leads to Obedience to Christ: Bad Theology.
The divine command for children to obey their parents does not grant parents a free pass to enforce obedience through whatever means necessary. Ephesians 6:1: “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” Who is Paul addressing in this passage? Children. Paul gave no instructionsContinue reading “Forced Obedience in Childhood Leads to Obedience to Christ: Bad Theology.”
Does Obeying the Literal Words of a Verse Make One’s Behavior “More Biblical”?
Or, is behavior “more Biblical” when the cross-culture principle is applied? Before I give you my answer to that doozy of a question, I want us to look at two different verses from the Book of Proverbs. The first verse I want to examine is not high on anyone’s list of “Verses to Memorize,” butContinue reading “Does Obeying the Literal Words of a Verse Make One’s Behavior “More Biblical”?”
The Easiest Parenting Tool You’re Not Using
This easy switch lands itself in my Top 3 Tools Every Parent Needs list. Check it out: “I know you want to keep playing, and it’s time for bed.” Did you catch that? The and instead of but? This simple change is not some magic parenting hack to get your children to listen to you—notContinue reading “The Easiest Parenting Tool You’re Not Using”
“Mom, Do I Have to go to Church!?”
“For it is throughist regular church attendance that ye shall be saved.” Oh shoot- that’s not in Bible? How about, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so noneContinue reading ““Mom, Do I Have to go to Church!?””
“I Was Spanked and I Turned Out Fine.”
I hear this from many people and for those who it’s true, I’m glad to hear that. Really, I am. Young people can experience hardship, trauma, or even abuse, and overcome it. They persevere, heal wounds, and go on to be amazing adults. I know a few. But, that does not mean this is theContinue reading ““I Was Spanked and I Turned Out Fine.””
“I Have to Spank my Toddler to Teach Her Not to Run Into the Street.”
No you don’t. A young child cannot be held accountable for their own safety. It is an unreasonable assumption to expect a child to choose to avoid danger or to reliably comply with verbal instructions when safety is on the line. For instance, if a young child were to be struck by a car, theContinue reading ““I Have to Spank my Toddler to Teach Her Not to Run Into the Street.””
Grace Colored Glasses
Undeserved grace invites lasting heart change. When your child exhibits undesirable behavior, instead of spewing out blame and shame, try viewing the situation through a lens of grace. Pause and choose to look for the most positive, perhaps even generous, explanation of your child’s behavior to avoid making parenting choices based in the worst-case scenario.Continue reading “Grace Colored Glasses”
Rehoboam: The Foolish Son of Solomon.
According to popular Christian parenting, one would think Solomon “wrote the book” on Biblical discipline. Some Christian parents act like Proverbs (written mostly by Solomon) provides a God-ordained parenting method that will lead our young children to heart change. Surely when Solomon used the rod of discipline to drive out foolishness (Prov 22:15) from theContinue reading “Rehoboam: The Foolish Son of Solomon.”
“Happy to Help!”
When respectful communication doesn’t get cooperation, say this: “Would you like to do it by yourself, or would you like my help?” … “Sure! I’m happy to help.” Let’s pretend you have at least 2 children. Your youngest is struggling to unscrew the new cap on the toothpaste tube, and he asks Big Brother, “WillContinue reading ““Happy to Help!””
A Matter of the Heart
“Jesus brought grace & mercy as His methods and message for a reason” L.R. Knost. We long for our children to accept the saving faith of Jesus Christ. In our attempts to stack the odds we put a lot of effort into sowing seeds of God’s Word, like those Jesus talked about in the ParableContinue reading “A Matter of the Heart”
Part 2: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
The Book of Proverbs is not divine commands to obey, nor promises to claim. Those who claim spanking is Biblical are in fact going outside the concrete (or specific) words in Scripture by making a number of changes; age limits, severity, location, and instrument, to name a few. These positive changes represent growth in theContinue reading “Part 2: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”
Resources for Christian Discipline 