Welcome to my thoughts on all things parenting. Mercifully short articles on practical applications, encouragement, and theology. Hit the Star at the bottom of the article if you liked it- please comment if you have something to share!
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- King Santa or King Jesus: Who Truly Reigns in Your Home This Christmas?
I have the solution to the Santa dilemma for Christian families. For believers, Christmas is when we recognize the profound significance of Jesus’ birth, which contrasts sharply with our culture’s commercialism of Christmas. Christian parents have the responsibility to model and teach children the real reason for the season. Could it be that in ourContinue reading “King Santa or King Jesus: Who Truly Reigns in Your Home This Christmas?” - Let’s Talk Hermeneutics – Wait, am I a Theologian Now?
Well, yes, all Christians are theologians in the sense that they engage in the study of God. While believers engage in theology (simply, the study of God) , not everyone has a well-informed understanding of it. There is a common misconception that believers don’t need other books to learn how to read the Bible, thatContinue reading “Let’s Talk Hermeneutics – Wait, am I a Theologian Now?” - Ready for Potty Training? Standing Diapering is the Key to Success.
Here are some of my best toileting tips as a former Montessori Toddler Teacher. Believe it or not, “toilet work” was my favorite part of the Montessori classroom! Standing diapering doesn’t just mean the child stands up while a diaper is removed and replaced. Standing diapering is actually a procedure that requires diaper changes toContinue reading “Ready for Potty Training? Standing Diapering is the Key to Success.” - Teach Your Kids to Fight.
“Kid’s, stop fighting!” This may be a common phrase, but it doesn’t make it an effective phrase. “Stop touching me!!” “I was here first!” “Give me that!” Ah, yes, the familiar sounds of sibling rivalry. Sadly, there is no formula to eliminate sibling squabbles, but it can help to think of fighting as communication—albeit notContinue reading “Teach Your Kids to Fight.” - What is “Biblical Discipline”?
We’ve got two words here, “biblical” and “discipline.” Let’s start with the easier one, “discipline.” First and foremost, it is not a euphemism. “Spanking,” “discipline,” and “the rod” are examples of euphemisms when they are used in place of hitting a child. These euphemisms are misleading and deceptive, designed to minimize the reality of whatContinue reading “What is “Biblical Discipline”?” - My Testimony
My Battle with Suffering: A Journey Through Hardship. Writing about my personal story is different from the typical content I post. Perhaps my story will resonate with yours in some way, reminding you that we are never alone in our pain, and that suffering can accomplish God’s good purpose. I Grew up in a lovingContinue reading “My Testimony” - RCD is One Year Old!
Let’s Celebrate with a Giveaway! Thank you for joining me on this incredible journey to create a new generation of respectful, Christ-centered families! Just by subscribing you’ve encourage me to keep going and take that next step with the ministry. One of the most uplifting experiences for me is reading your heartfelt comments—they not onlyContinue reading “RCD is One Year Old!” - King Santa or King Jesus: Who Truly Reigns in Your Home This Christmas?I have the solution to the Santa dilemma for Christian families. For believers, Christmas is when we recognize the profound significance of Jesus’ birth, which contrasts sharply with our culture’s commercialism of Christmas. Christian parents have the responsibility to model and teach children the real reason for the season. Could it be that in ourContinue reading “King Santa or King Jesus: Who Truly Reigns in Your Home This Christmas?”
- The Truth About Consequences
Should consequences be in the Christian parent’s tool box? Absolutely! Consequences can serve as powerful teaching moments for children; however, too often parents twist them into thinly veiled punishments, ultimately diminishing the valuable lesson that could be learned. Let’s find out how to effectively use consequences and why it might be best kept at theContinue reading “The Truth About Consequences” - To Raise Generous Children, Say No to Forced Sharing!
What to do instead? Teach them how to take turns. There is nothing inherently wrong with sharing, but the concept is vague and abstract. We need to resist the urge to “fix” the problem and instead resolve to teach our children how to be responsible for solving their own problems, A far more impactful “houseContinue reading “To Raise Generous Children, Say No to Forced Sharing!” - Flourishing Homes and Families Q&A
Discover the 5 burning questions I asked the authors of my new favorite parenting book: The Flourishing Family! Q: Amanda and David, can you tell me a little bit about your backgrounds and what you hope the book will achieve? A: Examining Christian parenting through the lens of sound theology is really important to us.Continue reading “Flourishing Homes and Families Q&A” - I Hate “Gentle” Parenting.
Oh, not the practice. Just the word gentle. Not sure who needs to hear this, but successfully navigating the complex parent-child relationship doesn’t happen by simply watching a few viral parenting clips on social media. Sadly, that seems to be the preferred process for many, especially the critics. A Christian thought leader might read aContinue reading “I Hate “Gentle” Parenting.” - Stop Telling Children What Not to Do.
Giving directions in the negative form (what not to do) can even be confusing for adults, not to mention a small child with limited cognitive abilities. Instead, say what you want to see. To encourage our young children to cooperate (or “listen”), our words must clearly communicate exactly what it is we want from them.Continue reading “Stop Telling Children What Not to Do.” - Forced Obedience in Childhood Leads to Obedience to Christ: Bad Theology.
The divine command for children to obey their parents does not grant parents a free pass to enforce obedience through whatever means necessary. Ephesians 6:1: “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” Who is Paul addressing in this passage? Children. Paul gave no instructionsContinue reading “Forced Obedience in Childhood Leads to Obedience to Christ: Bad Theology.” - Does Obeying the Literal Words of a Verse Make One’s Behavior “More Biblical”?
Or, is behavior “more Biblical” when the cross-culture principle is applied? Before I give you my answer to that doozy of a question, I want us to look at two different verses from the Book of Proverbs. The first verse I want to examine is not high on anyone’s list of “Verses to Memorize,” butContinue reading “Does Obeying the Literal Words of a Verse Make One’s Behavior “More Biblical”?” - The Easiest Parenting Tool You’re Not Using
This easy switch lands itself in my Top 3 Tools Every Parent Needs list. Check it out: “I know you want to keep playing, and it’s time for bed.” Did you catch that? The and instead of but? This simple change is not some magic parenting hack to get your children to listen to you—notContinue reading “The Easiest Parenting Tool You’re Not Using” - “Mom, Do I Have to go to Church!?”
“For it is throughist regular church attendance that ye shall be saved.” Oh shoot- that’s not in Bible? How about, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so noneContinue reading ““Mom, Do I Have to go to Church!?”” - “I Was Spanked and I Turned Out Fine.”
I hear this from many people and for those who it’s true, I’m glad to hear that. Really, I am. Young people can experience hardship, trauma, or even abuse, and overcome it. They persevere, heal wounds, and go on to be amazing adults. I know a few. But, that does not mean this is theContinue reading ““I Was Spanked and I Turned Out Fine.”” - “I Have to Spank my Toddler to Teach Her Not to Run Into the Street.”
No you don’t. A young child cannot be held accountable for their own safety. It is an unreasonable assumption to expect a child to choose to avoid danger or to reliably comply with verbal instructions when safety is on the line. For instance, if a young child were to be struck by a car, theContinue reading ““I Have to Spank my Toddler to Teach Her Not to Run Into the Street.”” - Grace Colored Glasses
Undeserved grace invites lasting heart change. When your child exhibits undesirable behavior, instead of spewing out blame and shame, try viewing the situation through a lens of grace. Pause and choose to look for the most positive, perhaps even generous, explanation of your child’s behavior to avoid making parenting choices based in the worst-case scenario.Continue reading “Grace Colored Glasses” - Rehoboam: The Foolish Son of Solomon.
According to popular Christian parenting, one would think Solomon “wrote the book” on Biblical discipline. Some Christian parents act like Proverbs (written mostly by Solomon) provides a God-ordained parenting method that will lead our young children to heart change. Surely when Solomon used the rod of discipline to drive out foolishness (Prov 22:15) from theContinue reading “Rehoboam: The Foolish Son of Solomon.” - “Happy to Help!”
When respectful communication doesn’t get cooperation, say this: “Would you like to do it by yourself, or would you like my help?” … “Sure! I’m happy to help.” Let’s pretend you have at least 2 children. Your youngest is struggling to unscrew the new cap on the toothpaste tube, and he asks Big Brother, “WillContinue reading ““Happy to Help!”” - A Matter of the Heart
“Jesus brought grace & mercy as His methods and message for a reason” L.R. Knost. We long for our children to accept the saving faith of Jesus Christ. In our attempts to stack the odds we put a lot of effort into sowing seeds of God’s Word, like those Jesus talked about in the ParableContinue reading “A Matter of the Heart” - Part 2: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
The Book of Proverbs is not divine commands to obey, nor promises to claim. Those who claim spanking is Biblical are in fact going outside the concrete (or specific) words in Scripture by making a number of changes; age limits, severity, location, and instrument, to name a few. These positive changes represent growth in theContinue reading “Part 2: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child” - Part 1: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child.This is a quote from an erotic poem entitled, “Hudibras” and written by Samuel Butler in 1663. “Spare the rod, spoil the child’ is not a verse in the Bible. Let us commit to studying scripture so we can better identify half-truths such as this. I call this a half truth because there are versesContinue reading “Part 1: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child.”
- Feelings: Don’t fight them. Don’t feed them.
Feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are. We know we shouldn’t suppress and stuff our feelings down, but how do we do that without getting stuck in them? So glad you asked: Practice to observe and describe what you are feeling. When you first have a feeling that catches your attention, a flickerContinue reading “Feelings: Don’t fight them. Don’t feed them.”
Resources for Christian Discipline 