Ready for Potty Training? Standing Diapering is the Key to Success.

Here are some of my best toileting tips as a former Montessori Toddler Teacher.

When can you start standing diapering? You can start as soon as you child is a sturdy walker, and you should start when they resist being laid down for changes.

Step # 1: Prepare the Environment. Your objective is to ensure that the toileting experience is as fully accessible for the child as possible, allowing them to participate in every step. What you’ll need:

• Stools to make the toilet and sink accessible to the child.
• A stool for you to sit on and gloves for you to wear.
• Small pail or hamper for soiled clothes.
• A set of clean clothes.
• 2-5 diapers and wipes that the child can reach- sometimes the child enjoys the opportunity to pick one out.
• A child safe mirror: When a child wearing a diaper has a BM, you don’t have to lay them down- you can wipe their bottom while they lay across your lap. A low hanging mirror allows you to see what you’re wiping without craning your neck. It’s also helpful when the child is learning to wipe themselves, as they can bend over in front of it to check if they’ve cleaned properly.
• A pad or towel for laying them down when you aren’t sure all the poop is removed. Hopefully since this will be the exception to the rule, the child will be more cooperative. Taking daily baths are also good to have in place during this time.

Develop a routine: Parents should include the standing diapering procedure in the toddler’s bedtime routine, while they’re still in diapers. In my experience, one consistent, daily time of practicing toileting can lead to incredible success once they transition to underwear. Becoming familiar with going to the bathroom at transition times before they are in underwear is a huge extra added benefit.

Involve the child in each step. Parents should always explain what they are doing, like saying, “I’m going to wipe now.” Using the same words and steps each time helps children to remember and internalize the process. Children prefer knowing what will happen next and feel more in control when things happen as they thought it would. Sample script:

• “Pants down.” – Keeping prompts short, and not in a form of a question will encourage participation.
• “Now the diaper tabs. One, two, done!” – Let them pull the tabs.
• “You can sit on the toilet now.” – Again, don’t ask, but always let it be ok if they don’t want to: “That’s ok you don’t have to. Maybe next time.”
• When they sit on the toilet, instead of, “good job” say: “You sat on the toilet!” Or, “Thank you for sitting on the toilet.”
• “You can wipe once, then I’ll check”
• Then have them stand up and put a dry diaper on them, inviting them to participate in each step.
• “Pants up.”
• “And wash hands.” Or hand signal and say, “what’s next?” “Thank you for taking care of your body.”

Simple tips for BMs: Use gloves. Remember that you might need more wipes when changing a standing diaper. Use the child-safe mirror to check for any missed areas. And if needed, lay the child down on a towel to make sure they’re clean.

Care-giving is a love language. Instead of thinking: Let me rush through this diaper change to get to the good stuff, try: This is the good stuff. I am going to be present during this intimate time together. This slow, child-led toilet routine is not something to rush through; it’s important connection time that strengthens your relationship.

Not only should be we willing to let the child do as much as they want to on their own, we also need to be willing to help them when they show us they need it. Remember, do the least amount to help to start with:

1. Help with words first: “Grab the diaper tab tight first, then pull.”
2. If they are still struggling, provide some physical help: “I’ll pull the tab up a little, then you grab it and pull it all the way off.”
3. If they are still struggling, move to fully helping: “Looks like you need my help. I’m going to pull the tabs now.”

External Motivators (punishment and rewards) do not help children develop internal motivation. Giving children candy for using the toilet takes away from the inner feeling of capability and changes the focus to getting. This means no M&Ms for using the toilet. Let the reward be not having a cold, heavy, wet diaper on.

Instead of giving children M&Ms, empower children with encouragement:

• Instead of: “I told you so! If you just sat on the toilet when I said it you wouldn’t have wet underwear right now!!” Try: “I’m going to check your pants; they feel wet. But you kept your underwear dry all morning! Soon you’ll keep them dry all day!”
• Instead of: (Frustrated) “Are you peeing right now??” Try: “It looks like you are peeing. Let’s hurry quick to the bathroom and put some pee in the toilet!”
• Instead of: “Don’t pee your pants!” Try: “Let me know when your underwear is wet, and I can help you get dry ones on.”

When to transition to underwear? General signs of readiness for underwear:

1. Success and cooperation during the standing diapering routine.
2. Child wakes up in the morning with a dry diaper.
3. After using the toilet in the morning, they can go a few hours in the morning with a dry diaper.
4. Shows interest in using the toilet

Remember: Accidents are the most vital part of the process. Expect them. Embrace them.

A note on Pull-Ups. Pull-Ups are a very well marketed, expensive, mediocre diaper. When you feel your child is ready for underwear, just go for it. The immediate and undeniable feedback that underwear gives (hello, wetness!) is exactly what they need to help them transition out of diapers.

Every child’s toilet learning process is unique. Hopefully, this article gives you enough information to feel confident in implementing standing diapering at home. Got a child who pees in the toilet but refuse to poop in it, or a child who does well in underwear all day but wets their bed at night? Maybe I can offer some help! Reach out with your questions.