Borrow 👍
A great journey through the scientific discoveries on brain development and the essential elements parents should keep in mind during the first 5 years of their child’s life- not just the diaper days. This book would have earned my highest honor of “Buy” had it not endorsed swift punishments and consequences- surprisingly, The Nanny was even referenced in a positive light. However, the book concluded in a moving affirmation of the child’s value and significance, by highlighting how much more they enrich our lives than take from it.
This is the second book in a row that I’ve read that declares a healthy marriage as the best parenting tool. Brain Rules for Baby teaches about the profound ways in which marital hostility alters a baby’s brain, and that if Dad really wants their child smart enough to get into Harvard, Dr. Medina says to “go home and love your wife!”
I really appreciated the way Dr. Medina summarizes the key themes in the final chapter. He brings together the two essential themes that we need to retain after wading through all the neuroscience and ventromedial prefrontal cortex discussions.
- Start with Empathy
- Focus on Emotions
Maybe not what you expected from a super duper sciencey, fact and data book? Guess what- emotional regulation is not just touchy-feely stuff; emotional regulation actually enhances executive function behaviors like impulse control and future planning, which directly impact outcomes like grades and success. Emotions are at the core of nearly all our decisions, whether it’s choosing the right friends or making moral choices. Empathy is crucial for building friendships, which is a major factor in a person’s future happiness, according to the science. So, how exactly do we raise empathetic and emotionally intelligent kids? Well, according to the data, the key is to stop trying to bury, ignore, or criticize emotions. Instead, we need to allow our children to experience the full spectrum of emotions while guiding them to identify and understand what they’re feeling. Dr. Medina says behavior of a good parent can be boiled down to this:
Be willing to enter into your child’s world on a regular basis and to empathize with what your child is feeling.
Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina
Simple as a song. Complex as a symphony.
While this book is a wealth of helpful information, I do have to highlight the significant issues that I have with it.
- Evolution and Darwinism are heavy themes throughout the book.
- Rewards and punishment are prescribed key elements in effective discipline. To give him credit, some of the punishment examples sound more like natural consequences. And he does share compelling data linking spanking to an increase in behavioral issues. Woohoo! In my opinion though, when parents rely heavily on punishment to control a child’s behavior, they are likely to see bad behavior increase regardless of whether or not they are spanking. What to do instead? Just focus on solutions- ask yourself, “what’s the problem, what’s the solution.”
What have you found helpful in the child development arena? Do you think you’ll be checking this book out? Comment below!
Resources for Christian Discipline 