Borrow 👍
Or buy it if you don’t currently own any of the other secular books I recommend. Either way, you will not regret reading it. I’m going to give you a short-as-I-can-review and I plan to address the Christian Elephant in the room- the four-letter word in the title: Good– the concept that children are inherently good. This may be triggering to some Christians. So yea. Stay tuned.
Do you ever feel uncertain about what to do when your child isn’t cooperating? Dr. Becky offers a life-changing lesson that will not only transform our parenting, but it’s also just healthy communication skills for any relationship: “Boundaries are not what we tell kids not to do, boundaries are what we tell kids we will do.” For example, “Stop throwing right now,” is not a boundary. A proper boundary set and held by the parent looks like this: “I won’t let you throw these toys.” Then, walk over and help the child respect the boundary. This may mean putting the toys out of reach or going outside to throw appropriate toys. Ordering people around isn’t an effective communication tool because we actually can’t control another person- we can only control ourselves.
We cannot encourage subservience and compliance in our kids when they’re young, and then expect confidence and assertiveness when they’re older.
Good Inside by Dr. Becky
Alright, let’s dive into some theology – Can Christian parents find pearls of wisdom in Good Inside? Let’s agree that everyone has a sin nature and children matter a lot to God. Even though we are born with the capability to sin, children are “innocent” according to Deut. 1:39 NLT. Or, “… do not yet know good from bad.” NIV. The Old Testament also refers to a child as “good” (1 Kings 14:13). That, coupled with the teachings of Jesus Christ in the Book of Matthew Ch. 18 and 19, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”, I think we can conclude that children are not held accountable by God until they have the capacity to choose right and wrong. Children are not “little sinners” but Image Bearers and future temples of the Holy Spirit.
Sure, Good Inside is secular- it’s not going to replace the wisdom we seek from the Bible, but there is nothing inherently wrong with the title of her book. In my opinion, it does reflect the way God sees children- He does not see the way man sees, “the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam 16: 7). But, if naming this book was up to me, maybe I’d pick: Loved and Precious to God Inside and Out.
Resources for Christian Discipline 